Is This How You Want to Be Remembered?

Aunt Martha was my mother’s sister’s husband’s sister. Did you follow that? Because she lived fairly far away, we didn’t see her all that often. She passed away many years ago, but here are the three things I remember about her:

• She was a big woman, both physically and personality-wise – the type you didn’t miss when she entered the room.

• ·She drove an early 1960s, fern green, boaty-floaty Chrysler Imperial with rounded tailfins.

• ·When her parents died, she manipulated things so that she cheated the rest of her family out of about $10,000.

The story goes that Aunt Martha took her mother to lunch one day in the late 1960s and on the way home stopped at an attorney’s office to have her mother change her will, making Aunt Martha the sole beneficiary of her estate. Aunt Martha’s brother exploded when he learned this, and he refused to ever speak to her again and forbade the rest of his family to have any contact with her.

Ten thousand dollars was a lot of money back then and would be equivalent to several times that today. I wonder what she did with that money and if she felt her unethical behavior was worth the cost to her relationships and reputation. I’m guessing her financial “mental model” focused almost entirely on trying to maximize money coming in, and she saw changing the will as a way to enhance that.

We often interpret an unanticipated bonus, a surprise birthday check, or an unforeseen class action settlement as a godsend. But God also blesses us by NOT allowing potentially bad things to happen. For example, that time your slammed on your brakes at 65 mph and just missed hitting the car in front of you by four inches could have easily ended in financial loss or, worse, personal injury. Did you acknowledge that as an example of God’s grace?

My point is that people like Aunt Martha can so focus on getting all they can – sometimes by unethical means – that they fail to see the bigger picture how God provides in other ways beyond the cash that makes its way to your checking account. And remember his blessings extend well beyond the monetary to include relationships, enjoyment of his creation, and countless other pleasures of life.

You should also acknowledge that it’s not just money that corrupts. Many people go to great lengths chasing power and prestige. There is nothing inherently wrong with money, power, or influence as long as you pursue them in healthy, appropriate ways. But there is a definite line you can cross when you drift into scheming and selfishness.

People who connive and maneuver for ill-gotten gain live as if God isn’t real. He wants his people to trust him, live in a way that reflects well on him, and bless others. Among the 12 characteristics of people who please God as recorded in Psalm 15 are those who:

• Have a blameless walk

• Do what is righteous

• Don’t wrong other people

• Keep their oaths even when it hurts

Unfortunately, when I think about Aunt Martha, I don’t think she lived that way.

How about you? How well do you live up to Psalm 15’s model?

An Unexpected Encounter with a Sideview Mirror

A couple of months ago while visiting our daughter Stephanie in Orange County, I went for an afternoon run that took me through the scenic Circle in downtown Old Towne Orange. Normally, runners run on the left side of the road to face oncoming traffic, but since I would only be in the Circle for one block before peeling off to a side street, I stayed to the right.

As I ran past a pickup truck that was parked a little further from the curb than necessary, I brushed against its oversized mirror and felt it crunch forward. “Uh-oh,” I thought. “I hope I didn’t bust the mirror.” I knew some sideview mirrors are designed to flip both backwards and forward, but I didn’t know if this one did.

Since I probably have OCD about data and stats, I didn’t want to turn around to check and wreck my running pace. Besides, I reasoned, I didn’t have a pen and paper to leave a note in case the mirror was broken. So, I kept running.

But the more I ran, the more uncomfortable I felt. If the mirror was indeed broken, wouldn’t it be wrong if I didn’t make things right? How would I feel if the tables were turned and it was my vehicle that was damaged and the perpetrator disappeared?  I started calculating how much the repair might cost and I decided I would pay for it from my personal “allowance” category in our family budget.

So, after I returned to Stephanie’s and took a quick shower, I grabbed a pen and paper so I could leave my contact information and tell the truck’s owner to forward any repair bill to me.

 I breathed a sigh of relief when I discovered that that particular truck model sported a fully foldable mirror. So, I popped it back into place and went on my way, relieved that I had done the right thing and that my allowance fund was intact.

In the three weeks following the “mirror incident,” I experienced an unexpected windfall and two separate events that could have resulted in significant financial losses but didn’t.

• I received a letter informing me of a class action settlement that will probably result in a $900 reimbursement for my car’s recent water pump repair.

• ·As I got a block away from the outdoor restaurant where I had a lunch appointment, I discovered my wallet wasn’t in my pocket. I ran back but couldn’t find it. Another diner saw my panic and just then noticed that the wallet had fallen from the table onto the ground. What a relief to retrieve it! Beside the possible loss of cash and credit cards, I would have had a massive task to replace my driver’s license and other important documents.

• After my workout at the gym later that week, I went to the little lockers by the front door where I always put my wallet and discovered that, since the front desk check-in guy had distracted me upon entering, I hadn’t actually set the lock. So it was unlocked the whole time I was at the gym. Anyone could have taken my wallet, but no one had.

Please note, I AM NOT SAYING GOD BLESSED ME IN THESE WAYS BEAUSE I DID THE RIGHT THING BY BEING WILLING TO PAY FOR THE MIRROR. I view the mirror incident and the three positive financial circumstances as somewhat independent everts. Putting it another way, God didn’t “owe” me a blessing because of my correct action about the mirror. These positive circumstances are probably more a reflection of his goodness and grace than a “repayment” for any good deed I might have done.

The bottom line is that we should do the right thing BECAUSE it is the right thing and not to try to earn God’s favor or try to put him in our debt.

Why Would I Ever Want to Do Business with You?

“We have a problem. The hotel wants to charge us for 28 more room nights.”

It was the first day of our three-day conference in Chicago, and the meeting’s organizer dropped this bombshell on the group.

Many state hospital associations around the country have subsidiary corporations that offer products and services to their member hospitals in their respective states. Every year, those of us who ran those companies met to share our successes and challenges. And sometimes, one of the states would introduce a program they developed for possible adoption in our own states.

Attendance at these meetings typically ran about 15 – 20 people, but we had invited a top-notch, nationally known speaker for this Chicago meeting, something the group’s leaders thought would double attendance. They were so sure at least 30 people would attend that they guaranteed 60 rooms for our hotel block.

As it turned out, only 16 showed up, so we were 28 rooms short of our room count commitment. Consequently, the hotel asked us to write a check for more than $4,000.

The group had the means to make good on its obligation but obviously would rather not. “How do we handle this?” the organizer asked. As we sat around the table, people began throwing out ideas.  Here are a couple of the more “creative” ones.

• “We could tell them the person who signed the contract wasn’t authorized to do that, so we shouldn’t have to pay.” – This wasn’t true. The organizer herself had personally approved the agreement.

• Or, “Why don’t we tell them that if they write off our obligation, we’ll come back to their hotel for next year’s meeting?” – Also not true. We never repeated cities and there was zero chance we would return.

Several other deceptive ideas were floated.

In the end, we threw ourselves on the mercy of the hotel and got them to cut in half the amount we owed. But I learned an important lesson that day. I saw that some of my colleagues were willing to lie if it was to their advantage.

My lightning-quick mind put two and two together, and I recognized I would have to be on my guard the next time one of them approached me about adopting one of their services. If they have no scruples about lying about the hotel rooms, how would I know they’re not lying to me about some aspect of their programs?

This whole episode was very disappointing, but it remined me about the importance of reputation and integrity. The Old Testament is filled with admonitions about doing the right thing.

• In Psalm 15, among the 12 characteristics of people who “will never be shaken” are those "who keep their oath even when it hurts” (v. 4).

• Proverb 11:1 states, “Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord.”

And in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches that we should be so squeaky-clean honest that we would never feel the need to swear an oath. Our word should be sufficient. “’All you need to say is simply “Yes” or “No”; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

Unfortunately, my professional acquaintances failed to follow these guidelines, and I saw it.

So how are you doing? Have you done anything before your family, friends or co-workers that demonstrates that you might not be 100% trustworthy?  If so, you might want to recalibrate your integrity meter, especially if you consider yourself a Christ-follower.

NOTE:  As many authors do, I sometimes change a few details in my writings for privacy purposes.