An Unexpected Encounter with a Sideview Mirror

A couple of months ago while visiting our daughter Stephanie in Orange County, I went for an afternoon run that took me through the scenic Circle in downtown Old Towne Orange. Normally, runners run on the left side of the road to face oncoming traffic, but since I would only be in the Circle for one block before peeling off to a side street, I stayed to the right.

As I ran past a pickup truck that was parked a little further from the curb than necessary, I brushed against its oversized mirror and felt it crunch forward. “Uh-oh,” I thought. “I hope I didn’t bust the mirror.” I knew some sideview mirrors are designed to flip both backwards and forward, but I didn’t know if this one did.

Since I probably have OCD about data and stats, I didn’t want to turn around to check and wreck my running pace. Besides, I reasoned, I didn’t have a pen and paper to leave a note in case the mirror was broken. So, I kept running.

But the more I ran, the more uncomfortable I felt. If the mirror was indeed broken, wouldn’t it be wrong if I didn’t make things right? How would I feel if the tables were turned and it was my vehicle that was damaged and the perpetrator disappeared?  I started calculating how much the repair might cost and I decided I would pay for it from my personal “allowance” category in our family budget.

So, after I returned to Stephanie’s and took a quick shower, I grabbed a pen and paper so I could leave my contact information and tell the truck’s owner to forward any repair bill to me.

 I breathed a sigh of relief when I discovered that that particular truck model sported a fully foldable mirror. So, I popped it back into place and went on my way, relieved that I had done the right thing and that my allowance fund was intact.

In the three weeks following the “mirror incident,” I experienced an unexpected windfall and two separate events that could have resulted in significant financial losses but didn’t.

• I received a letter informing me of a class action settlement that will probably result in a $900 reimbursement for my car’s recent water pump repair.

• ·As I got a block away from the outdoor restaurant where I had a lunch appointment, I discovered my wallet wasn’t in my pocket. I ran back but couldn’t find it. Another diner saw my panic and just then noticed that the wallet had fallen from the table onto the ground. What a relief to retrieve it! Beside the possible loss of cash and credit cards, I would have had a massive task to replace my driver’s license and other important documents.

• After my workout at the gym later that week, I went to the little lockers by the front door where I always put my wallet and discovered that, since the front desk check-in guy had distracted me upon entering, I hadn’t actually set the lock. So it was unlocked the whole time I was at the gym. Anyone could have taken my wallet, but no one had.

Please note, I AM NOT SAYING GOD BLESSED ME IN THESE WAYS BEAUSE I DID THE RIGHT THING BY BEING WILLING TO PAY FOR THE MIRROR. I view the mirror incident and the three positive financial circumstances as somewhat independent everts. Putting it another way, God didn’t “owe” me a blessing because of my correct action about the mirror. These positive circumstances are probably more a reflection of his goodness and grace than a “repayment” for any good deed I might have done.

The bottom line is that we should do the right thing BECAUSE it is the right thing and not to try to earn God’s favor or try to put him in our debt.

Why Would I Ever Want to Do Business with You?

“We have a problem. The hotel wants to charge us for 28 more room nights.”

It was the first day of our three-day conference in Chicago, and the meeting’s organizer dropped this bombshell on the group.

Many state hospital associations around the country have subsidiary corporations that offer products and services to their member hospitals in their respective states. Every year, those of us who ran those companies met to share our successes and challenges. And sometimes, one of the states would introduce a program they developed for possible adoption in our own states.

Attendance at these meetings typically ran about 15 – 20 people, but we had invited a top-notch, nationally known speaker for this Chicago meeting, something the group’s leaders thought would double attendance. They were so sure at least 30 people would attend that they guaranteed 60 rooms for our hotel block.

As it turned out, only 16 showed up, so we were 28 rooms short of our room count commitment. Consequently, the hotel asked us to write a check for more than $4,000.

The group had the means to make good on its obligation but obviously would rather not. “How do we handle this?” the organizer asked. As we sat around the table, people began throwing out ideas.  Here are a couple of the more “creative” ones.

• “We could tell them the person who signed the contract wasn’t authorized to do that, so we shouldn’t have to pay.” – This wasn’t true. The organizer herself had personally approved the agreement.

• Or, “Why don’t we tell them that if they write off our obligation, we’ll come back to their hotel for next year’s meeting?” – Also not true. We never repeated cities and there was zero chance we would return.

Several other deceptive ideas were floated.

In the end, we threw ourselves on the mercy of the hotel and got them to cut in half the amount we owed. But I learned an important lesson that day. I saw that some of my colleagues were willing to lie if it was to their advantage.

My lightning-quick mind put two and two together, and I recognized I would have to be on my guard the next time one of them approached me about adopting one of their services. If they have no scruples about lying about the hotel rooms, how would I know they’re not lying to me about some aspect of their programs?

This whole episode was very disappointing, but it remined me about the importance of reputation and integrity. The Old Testament is filled with admonitions about doing the right thing.

• In Psalm 15, among the 12 characteristics of people who “will never be shaken” are those "who keep their oath even when it hurts” (v. 4).

• Proverb 11:1 states, “Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord.”

And in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches that we should be so squeaky-clean honest that we would never feel the need to swear an oath. Our word should be sufficient. “’All you need to say is simply “Yes” or “No”; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

Unfortunately, my professional acquaintances failed to follow these guidelines, and I saw it.

So how are you doing? Have you done anything before your family, friends or co-workers that demonstrates that you might not be 100% trustworthy?  If so, you might want to recalibrate your integrity meter, especially if you consider yourself a Christ-follower.

NOTE:  As many authors do, I sometimes change a few details in my writings for privacy purposes.

One of the Nicest Things My Wife Ever Said to Me

My wife Annette taught middle school science for 19 years. Like many organizations, the schools she worked in were mostly populated by wonderful people but also had a sprinkling of “how-does-this-person-keep-their-job” types. One individual in particular who seemed unusually difficult was one of her assistant principals. He consistently exhibited less common sense than most of the middle school students. Plus, he repeatedly failed to support the teachers, making their jobs much harder.

During one of our home Bible Studies, Annette was describing his latest foolish idea. Misbehaving students are often required to spend several days in the In-School Suspension (ISS) room as punishment. Annette explained that Mr. Brain Trust suggested the school buy a ping pong table for the ISS room so students would have something to do while in detention.

Think about that. An unmotivated student is bored in class, so he decides to act up in order to hone his ping pong skills. Great plan!

As Annette was explaining this idiotic proposal, she said, “Even though he has come up with dumb ideas in the past, this was the absolute stupidest thing he ever suggested. And it made me mad that he was pushing a plan that would make it harder for me to teach effectively. I don’t think I’ve ever been as mad at any adult in my entire life.” And then she added as she looked at me, “Well, . . . except you!”

The Bible Study group erupted into laughter, and I loved it! That’s one of the nicest things she ever said to me. It showed she is secure enough in our marriage that she has the freedom to express anger to me knowing I’m not going anywhere. And it’s reciprocal. I’ve been known to send some angry words in her direction. But early in our marriage, at Annette’s suggestion, we agreed we would never utter the word “divorce,” even in jest.

No relationship is stress-free, and, of course, negative comments should be few and far-between. Furthermore, the Apostle Paul encourages us to deal with conflict quickly and “not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Marriages or friendships built on mutual love, commitment, trust, and honesty can withstand minor “skirmishes.” Annette and I are both strong-willed and opinionated. And, believe it or not, I have sometimes been known to be stubborn and difficult to live with. But part of the reason we can express our occasional frustration with each other is that we have a baseline, unshakable commitment to never go away.

In the past, I’ve written about some of the difficult individuals in my family of origin. Having people like that in your life creates challenges when it comes to buying greeting cards for “personal” holidays like birthdays, Fathers’ Day or Mothers’ Day. Sending a sentiment like “you’re the glue that holds our family together” or “thank you for always caring” would be disingenuous. And some of the people I’m thinking about have no sense of humor, so the funny cards don’t work. That leaves me with the “enjoy your special day” type cards. Pretty bland.

I was pleased by the dilemma I faced this last Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t decide between two equally “warm” cards. Each expressed a sentiment I genuinely felt toward Annette. So, instead of choosing between the two, I got them both.

Annette recently came up with a great life-saying: 

“Be the kind of person it’s easy to buy a greeting card for.”

She embodies that! Part of what goes into being that type of person is a solid commitment to the important people in your life and a willingness to receive occasional negative feedback. If you live like this saying suggests, I suspect the people who are closest to you are secure enough in your relationship that they’re not afraid to be angry with you when you deserve it.

And for the record, I agreed that the ping pong table idea was idiotic.

Do You Have as Much Integrity as You Think You Do?

“I’m really not comfortable with that,” he said. I had just asked my good friend Tom Jeannett if he would mind if I copied an album he had just bought. Tom explained that that would deprive the artists and record label from money they deserved. He was kind enough not to use the word “steal,” but that is what he was saying. And he was so gracious that, rather than feeling condemned, I realized that what I was asking was wrong and vowed to never do that again.

A few years later, I heard a talk by Bill Bright’s personal assistant. (I think his name was Pat). Bill Bright was founder and president of the ministry Cru, and since Pat traveled all over the world with him, he observed Dr. Bright in all kinds of circumstances, from completely pleasant to highly stressful. This gave Pat deep insights into the man’s character.

For some reason I remember Pat mentioning that Dr. Bright always traveled with two stamp booklets – one for ministry correspondence and the other for personal letters. “He didn’t want to use any ministry asset – even something as small as a postage stamp – for personal purposes.” Who would know if he did? Probably no one. And would it really matter? Dr. Bright thought so. Now that’s integrity!

But personal integrity extends beyond your actions. It also applies to your words. Pastor Chuck Swindoll once said, “A half-truth is a lie when it implies something that is absolutely false.” Ouch! At what point does presenting something in a favorable light become spin, and at what point does spin become a lie? I sometimes get dangerously close to crossing the line.

The NIV renders Jesus’ words in John 14:15 like this: “If you love me, keep my commands.” Of course, this is a commandment. But the ESV translates the verse this way:  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments,” treating his words as more of an observation than a commandment and suggesting that people who really love Jesus “naturally” or typically do what he instructed.

Both are good translations, and theologian R.C. Sproul especially likes the implications of the second one. Sproul comments, “Genuine love for Jesus manifests itself in obedience to His commandments” (John:  An Expositional Commentary, p. 255). Well said, and something to live up to.

So, John 14:15 both instructs us to behave in godly ways and observes that correct behavior flows from hearts that are aligned with God’s.

HERE ARE TWO IMPORTANT CAVEATS:

1. Talk of keeping Jesus’ commandments can lead us to believe that we can become acceptable to God by what we do. Many people think they’re OK if their good deeds outweigh their bad ones. Wrong. The Bible teaches that no one perfectly meets God’s standards. That’s why Jesus came – to assume on himself the penalty we deserve because of our sin and to allow his perfect life to count on our behalf. 

2. Those of us who have accepted Christ’s forgiveness can slip into thinking we remain in God’s favor by our self-effort in following all the rules. And we often add to requirements beyond what Jesus taught or come up with crazy interpretations or applications of his instructions. Of course, we should keep his commandments – isn’t that exactly what John 14:15 teaches? But creating slavish requirements beyond the Bible’s is called legalism, and it will suck the life out of your Christian life.

So, yes, your behavior matters. But that’s not what makes you acceptable to God, either initially or on an ongoing basis. And, as R.C. Sproul says, a natural outgrowth of your growing relationship with Jesus will be increasing conformity to his ways.

Both Tom Jeannett and Bill Bright are excellent examples of people who, because of their love for Jesus, “automatically” want to do what he said. Both of them have challenged me, and I hope they challenge you too.

How Should You Respond to Past Mistakes and “Non-Moral” Lapses?

Mistakes, regrets, things we’d do differently if we could. We all have them. I’m not talking about major transgressions like broking the law, intentionally hurting someone, or consciously sinning. Instead, I’m referring to things we did out of ignorance, immaturity, or poor judgment. Everyone agrees that we should always keep growing. That implies that you know more about life now than you did ten years ago and that you will probably know more ten years from now than you do today.

From time to time, a particular situation triggers memories of past actions I now regret. Like my habit in middle school of loudly commenting on my “superior” grades every time the teacher returned our tests. Or the time I embarrassed my brother in front of his classmates by publicly offering to sit next to the unpopular girl he refused to talk to. Or the time I failed to bring a Christmas gift for the family that invited me to spend the holiday with them. Or the time I inadvertently insulted my hostess by commenting that the gravy helped make her roast less dry.

None of these were mortal sins, but they do reflect my self-absorption or level of relative immaturity at the time.

Some individuals can blow these memories off. But I’ve talked to enough people to know that many folks are wired like I am and are momentarily immobilized in a cloud of shame and mild self-condemnation by this type of recollection.

Here are some thoughts about how to deal with these fleeting negative episodes.

First and foremost, remember where many of them come from. The Bible teaches that, among his many other evil activities, Satan loves to accuse Christians (Rev. 12:10). Whenever I experience these moments of regret, I have learned to remind myself that because I am a Christian, God has completely forgiven me and no longer condemns me (Romans 8:1). That doesn’t mean that these actions were OK or that there might not be unpleasant consequences. But it helps to conclude that of God doesn’t condemn me, neither should I.

Next, realize that the fact you now recognize your prior action was a mistake means that the “current you” has learned and grown. You’re not the “you” you were when you made the blunder. So, live in the present and move on now that you know better.

And finally think about how you would react if you saw someone you liked inadvertently committing whatever transgression you’re kicking yourself for. Whenever I observe a friend’s momentary lapse, I assume they are not intentionally committing a foul. Instead, I know they’re most likely acting out of ignorance or inexperience, and it’s easy to grant them grace. Take this attitude and apply it to yourself. If you wouldn’t “condemn” your friend for their poor judgment, neither should you condemn yourself.

Like I said, not everyone has the tendency toward self-criticism, but if you do, following these suggestions can be truly liberating. I sincerely hope they help free you from any paralyzing thoughts about yourself you may sometimes have.

If You Are a High Achiever, You Must Read This

High achievers are incredible! They drive many of the breakthroughs that propel science, medicine, business, and the arts forward. Virtually every book targeted to high achievers touts the value of setting goals and sticking to them, no matter what.

In my last blog, I stressed the importance of starting with goals at the “right” level, that is recognizing that in the long run, developing character is more important than achieving the objective immediately in front of you. It isn’t always necessary to choose between the two, but if you must pick, the former should always prevail.

This time, I’d like to explore a related concept.

Richard Dreyfuss starred in the 1995 movie Mr. Holland’s Opus. The word “opus” is related to the Latin word for “work” and is used to catalog classical music composers’ bodies of work. So, for example, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony in C minor is tagged his opus 67.

The movie traces the career of Glenn Holland, an aspiring classical composer who is forced become a music teacher at Kennedy Highs School in Oregon to support his family. His true life’s passion is getting An American Symphony, the orchestral piece he composed, published and recognized as the fine piece of music he believes it to be. Unfortunately, his composition remains obscure, and after 30 years of teaching, budget cuts force his retirement.

Unbeknownst to him, his former students get wind of his involuntary retirement and secretly gather to celebrate his enormous contribution to their personal lives by surprising him with the first public performance of An American Symphony. In true Hollywood fashion, even though the students were mediocre musicians in high school and probably haven’t touched their clarinets in decades, their performance is worthy of the London Metropolitan Orchestra. As a matter of fact, the London Metropolitan Orchestra did perform the piece on the film’s soundtrack.

The movie’s lesson is obvious. Rather than being his treasured musical piece, Mr. Holland’s true “opus” or work is the profound impact he had on hundreds of students over the many years of his career.

If you are a high achiever, you undoubtedly have set you sights on some pretty significant accomplishments. That’s awesome! You very well could revolutionize key aspect of your professional realm. But I hope your true opus will be like Mr. Holland’s – the positive impact you have had those you have known along the way. Unfortunately, many of us have lived or worked with people who are practically idolized within their professions because of their accomplishments but have left trails of fractured relationships and bitterness in their wakes.

That’s not who I want to be. I’ve had my share of success in “visible” things like my career and public ministry. But I also have the privilege of meeting regularly one-on-one with about 12 – 15 younger guys. I don’t share this to “brag,” but three of them have told me that my meeting with them has literally been lifechanging. And a few years ago, two of them, who grew up without dads, sent me very special messages on Father’s Day. It doesn’t get any better than that! These guys, along with my family – and not my business or ministry “successes” – are my real “opus.”

Of course, there is no rule of the universe that declares that someone can’t simultaneously achieve great things and be a kind, loving human being. But you can be blinded by the spotlight of success, and I urge you to give preference to seeing your true life’s work as the lives you’ve changed for the better and the positive relationships you’ve nurtured over the years.

This objective reminds me of the best definition of success I have ever heard – “When those who know you the best, love you the most." At your funeral, will there be more talk about your genius as a business leader, your oratory skills as a pastor, your brilliance as a musician, or about the way you reflected God’s love to the people you met throughout your life?

One of the Best Relationship Suggestions I’ve Heard in a Long Time

Note:  This article, first posted in February 2019, is one of my favorites. I thought it would provide a very positive suggestion as we start 2021.

On a recent Focus on the Family radio broadcast, marriage counselor Dave Carder suggested an intriguing communication exercise for couples. Every morning for 30 days, he suggested, each of you should write down something you like about your spouse, and then share it with him or her at the end of the day.

My immediate thought was, “Great idea, but 30 seems like a lot. I certainly like lots of things about my wife, but 30 might be a stretch.” When I shared this idea with Annette, she suggested an alternative. “What if we modify it to 20 things I like about you, and 10 things about you that drive me crazy? Maybe we could do two days on, one day off.” (Her reaction reflected #25 on my list of things I like about her:  her sense of humor.)

We went ahead with this exercise, and I must say it’s been one of the best things we’ve ever done. I found myself thinking all day about both what I had written for that day – looking forward to sharing it – and pondering what I would say the next. Spending a month thinking about all the things you like about your wife is an awesome experience!

Midway through the month, I started to fear I might “run dry.” Then I realized I could “buy” several days if I started listing things she is not:  she is not high maintenance; she is not a gossip; she is not a troublemaker; she is not a “shopper.” (I know this last one makes me the envy of half the men in the country.)

Perhaps the most interesting aspect was how surprised we were by some of the items the other person listed. After being married for 38 years, I heard Annette verbalize some positive things about me that had never even occurred to me.

And it turns out that the most surprising thing she said about me didn’t show up until the very last day when she told me I don’t have a mean bone in my body. She said she has never seen me do anything to intentionally harm anyone. I pushed back a bit and reminded her to the many times I would complain – occasionally bitterly – about some of the jerks in my life. She agreed that I have honed that particular skill pretty well, but she went on to point out that, despite my negative feelings, she has never seen me take action to hurt them. I had never thought of that. What an encouraging observation from the person who knows me better than anyone else!

Interestingly, my #30 comment about her was also an obvious one that I’m surprised I hadn’t tagged sooner – the fact that she feels secure enough in our marriage to be able to express her anger toward me knowing it wouldn’t kill our relationship. I’m thrilled she feels that safe.

And it turns out we didn’t have to worry about running out of ideas. We each even came up with one or two “bonus” items, beyond the 30.

So, I highly recommend this exercise. Give it a try!  By the way, you can also do this with your kids or anyone else. Tell them one thing you like about them every day for 30 days.

Is It Ever OK to NOT Ask for Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a core aspect of the Christian faith. Of course, Jesus’ forgiveness of our sins is what makes a relationship with God possible in the first place. And Jesus links my forgiveness of others and God’s forgiveness of my sins (Matt. 6:12-15). Furthermore, he teaches in Matt. 5:23-24 that, if we recognize someone’s offense against us, we should even interrupt the very act of worship to be reconciled, which requires asking for forgiveness. So, our default should always be to quickly forgive and seek forgiveness when necessary.

A few years ago, I had a thought-provoking insight on forgiveness. In my first healthcare job (Administrative Fellow at University of Michigan Health System), I assisted another entry-level executive, Mike, with one of his projects. After several meetings where I wondered whether he really knew what he was doing, I tried to distance myself from the project by going behind his back to the health system CEO to state my concerns and withdraw from the project. In hindsight, I see how cowardly and unprofessional that was. I should have at least clearly told Mike about my concerns and informed him I wanted to bow out.

Despite my inappropriate behavior, Mike and I remained on decent terms and eventually went our separate ways. About 15 years later, he told me he was coming through Atlanta and asked if I wanted to get together. After chatting a while over Waffle House pancakes, I blurted out an apology for my unwise and unkind action from 15 years prior. To my surprise, he had no idea what I was talking about and didn’t even remember the incident. Of course, my asking forgiveness was completely appropriate and in line with Jesus’ teaching, and I’m glad I did it.

I thought about this episode a few years later when I knew I would have the chance to meet up with a different former co-worker from my next job. To my shame, one time in an attempt at humor, I made a joke about one of his physical features. A few months later, he moved on to another job, and despite my stupidity, we stayed in touch professionally. Several years down the road, we discovered we would be attending the same conference. I wrestled with whether or not to dredge up my mistake and ask for his forgiveness.

In the end, I decided the more loving thing was to not bring it up. I concluded that if he did remember, rehashing the incident could compound the problem by opening an old wound, and if he didn’t, my apology would shine the spotlight right now on the very physical trait I’m sure he was already sensitive about. Either way, I would probably cause him discomfort. Apologizing would make me feel I had done my “Christian duty,” but doing so could further wound him.

In those very rare cases where you decide apologizing is worse than not apologizing, there are two ways to compensate for your transgression. First, vow to never repeat the offense – ever. Second, seek ways to affirm the other person in their strength areas in a genuine, non-kiss up way. Come to think of it, encouraging someone else is always a good idea, even when I haven’t offended them.

So, in 98% of cases, yes, apologize quickly and seek forgiveness. But carefully consider whether or not the result might be a net negative for the other person.

If You're Married, You MUST Do This

On a recent Focus on the Family radio broadcast, marriage counselor Dave Carder suggested an intriguing communication exercise for couples. Every morning for 30 days, he suggested, each of you should write down something you like about your spouse, and then share it with him or her at the end of the day.

My immediate thought was, “Great idea, but 30 seems like a lot. I certainly like lots of things about my wife, but 30 might be a stretch.” When I shared this idea with Annette, she suggested an alternative. “What if we modify it to 20 things I like about you, and 10 things about you that drive me crazy? Maybe we could do two days on, one day off.” (Her reaction reflected #25 on my list of things I like about her:  her sense of humor.)

We went ahead with this exercise, and I must say it’s been one of the best things we’ve ever done. I found myself thinking all day about both what I had written for that day – looking forward to sharing it – and pondering what I would say the next. Spending a month thinking about all the things you like about your wife is an awesome experience!

Midway through the month, I started to fear I might “run dry.” Then I realized I could “buy” several days if I started listing things she is not:  she is not high maintenance; she is not a gossip; she is not a troublemaker; she is not a “shopper.” (I know this last one makes me the envy of half the men in the country.)

Perhaps the most interesting aspect was how surprised we were by some of the items the other person listed. After being married for 38 years, I heard Annette verbalize some positive things about me that had never even occurred to me.

And it turns out that the most surprising thing she said about me didn’t show up until the very last day when she told me I don’t have a mean bone in my body. She said she has never seen me do anything to intentionally harm anyone. I pushed back a bit and reminded her to the many times I would complain – occasionally bitterly – about some of the jerks in my life. She agreed that I have honed that particular skill pretty well, but she went on to point out that, despite my negative feelings, she has never seen me take action to hurt them. I had never thought of that. What an encouraging observation from the person who knows me better than anyone else!

Interestingly, my #30 comment about her was also an obvious one that I’m surprised I hadn’t tagged sooner – the fact that she feels secure enough in our marriage to be able to express her anger toward me knowing it wouldn’t kill our relationship. I’m thrilled she feels that safe.

And it turns out we didn’t have to worry about running out of ideas. We each even came up with one or two “bonus” items, beyond the 30.

So, I highly recommend this exercise. Give it a try! By the way, you can also do this with your kids or anyone else. Tell them one thing you like about them every day for 30 days.

Follow Up from Immigration Blog Post

My last article about the yard sign welcoming people of different nationalities drew the most reaction of any blog I have written. (Scroll down to the previous entry to review my original comments.) I appreciate the effort so many made in writing back and wanted to summarize your comments.

Reactions fell into two categories. The first was affirming the importance of loving all people but confirming that laws must be obeyed. A few writers pointed to Romans 13 where Paul admonishes obedience to those in authority, a teaching that reinforces Jesus’ statement about fulfilling rather than abolishing the law (Matthew 5:17). My first draft of the blog actually referenced Romans 13, but I deleted that part because the article was running long and also because the topic was how Jesus would react to the issue of immigration, and, of course, Paul was not Jesus. But those of you who pointed to Romans 13 astutely recognized that obeying the law is a consistent Christian theme.

The second set of comments dealt with an aspect I didn’t specifically address: the legal status of people from other countries. Several readers pointed to the financial implications of essentially welcoming anyone and everyone into the country. One person noted that we are a country governed by laws and that we have specific mechanisms for changing laws that we don’t like or have become obsolete. I completely agree with his contention that we don’t have the luxury of picking and choosing which laws to enforce and which to ignore.

Some of you mentally inserted the word “illegal” in front of the concept of people from other nations. I specifically avoided that term because my intention was to consider how we should react to every individual we meet, regardless of whether they follow human laws or God’s standards. Remember, Jesus did not harshly reject the woman caught in adultery, but neither did he condone her actions (John 8). He is the original role model for “love the sinner but hate the sin.”

Perhaps the most interesting comment came from a LinkedIn reader:

I agree with what you write, but here in Sweden we find that immigrants and the second generation don’t respect our laws because they don’t stem from Allah. It’s so sad that everything has turned into such a mess when we just wanted to help them.

So, this is, indeed, a complex issue.

Here’s the bottom line. When Christians encounter someone from another country or culture in the supermarket, the workplace, or the neighborhood – as well as people with lifestyles we may disagree with – we must react in the “Jesus way,” demonstrating love and compassion for them as individuals. Whether or not they got here the right way or whether they are trying to live according to God’s standards should not enter into our personal interactions with them.

This is not to say they should get a pass if they have skirted the law. What happens in that realm is governed by our legal system. In our personal interactions, however, we must treat them in ways that exhibit the love of Christ. How could we do any less?

Jesus, the Judgmental

They metaphorically wag their fingers at someone expressing concern about a recent cultural trend that shifts us further away from biblical standards. They then reference what may be one of the few Bible verses they can quote. “Didn’t Jesus, himself, say, ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged’?” Sometimes, whoever invokes this verse (Matthew 7:1 – part of the Sermon on the Mount) sees it as the “touché” that is supposed to shame the “judger” into silence.

Yanking verses out of context encourages dubious interpretations or applications. In the very same chapter that records this admonition to not judge, Jesus slips in a few pretty “judgy-sounding” things:

·         Only a few will find the narrow road that leads to salvation (verse 13-14). Implication:  most people won’t “make it.”

·         He calls people who don’t do God’s will “evildoers” who will be excluded from the kingdom (verses 21-23).

·         Anyone who fails to heed his words faces ruin (verses 21-27).

But wait! There’s more! It’s not that Jesus woke up on the wrong side of the bed on the day he delivered the Sermon on the Mount. We see the same theme of judgement in nearly half his parables. By my count, out of Jesus’ 40 parables, 18 involved judgement, including:

·         The vineyard tenants who rebelled against the landowner, ultimately killing his son (Mark 12:1-11)

·         Being entrusted with talents and either investing them or burying them (Luke 19:12-27)

·         The rich fool who was not rich toward God and tore down his barns to store all his riches (Luke 12:16-21)

And within the 18 “judgment parables,” fully 10 are “dualistic” where they specify two groups:   those who do it right, and those who don’t.  Here are just a few:

·         The sheep and the goats – those who either care for God’s people or don’t (Matthew 25:31-46)

·         Two sons, one of whom said he would do his father’s will but didn’t, and the other who initially said he wouldn’t but changed his mind and ultimately complied (Matthew 21:28-32)

·         The Pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18:10-14)

Beyond these teachings, look at Jesus’ scathing denouncement of the Pharisees and teachers of the law (Matthew 23:13-39) where he calls them hypocrites, blind guides, whitewashed tombs, and a brood of vipers. Not exactly “Jesus, Meek and Mild” who never called people out when they violated God’s standards.

If those who criticize Christians for speaking up on social issues were to apply the same standard to Jesus himself, they would be forced to label him judgmental.  The problem is that, in the way they apply “Do not judge, or you too will be judged,” they are conflating the different “dimensions” of judgment:

1.      God judging me as an individual

2.      God holding societies accountable for their collective practices

3.      Me judging someone else as an individual

4.      Me communicating my understanding of how God’s standards should affect society

Jesus’ prohibition in Matthew 7:1 relates to #3 – Me judging an individual.  It fits perfectly with the rest of the Sermon the Mount which addresses my personal behavior, character, and even inner thoughts. Matthew 7:1 does not disqualify me from speaking to #4.

We should not take a confrontational approach when people hijack nine of Jesus’ words to support their social positions. Instead, we should humbly and gently point them to a more nuanced understanding of judgment and Jesus’ charge to his followers – also in the Sermon on the Mount – to be the light of the world.