"My Chains Are Gone" - What Does This Look Like?

One of my very favorite Christian songs in Chris Tomlin’s version of “Amazing Grace.” To the original verses, Tomlin added an interlude with these lyrics:

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love
Amazing grace

The image of broken chains is one of the most common descriptions of the Christian life. But what does this really mean? What does it look like? Can I expect to immediately be freed from my addictions and other major problems?

I want to be very careful here. I fully believe that God can instantly transform someone and save them from a life of alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual addiction, and the like. This does happen. But not usually. More often, God starts someone on a lengthy road that leads to significant changes over time – often many years.

The following picture captures how the transformation process often unfolds. Imagine you are in a locked jail cell, unable to get out on your own. Jesus comes along with the key, unlocks the door, and invites you to leave. The moment the tumblers in the lock click, you have an option you didn’t have before. But you are still in the cell, and you will remain there until and unless you get off the cot, swing the door open, and walk out.

On rare occasions, Jesus will pull the cell door open himself, walk in and carry someone out. But in my experience, this is very much the exception. Instead, he expects us to do our part.

This dynamic reminds me of something I wrote in another blog post from 2021. In a dramatic scene from C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe one of the children (Peter) had to attack a ferocious wolf that was about to devour his sister Susan.

Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do. He rushed straight up to the monster and aimed a slash of his sword at its side.

A nightmarish battle ensues.  But finally, Peter

found that the monster lay dead and he had drawn his sword out of it and was straightening his back and rubbing the sweat off his face and out of his eyes.

Mind you, Aslan, who represents Christ, was right there watching the whole thing. He could have instantly vaporized the wolf, but instead he wanted Peter to experience the growth and exhilaration that comes from facing and attacking a terrifying situation.

So the way I see it, when you enter into a relationship with Jesus, he really does break your chains – or to put it in other terms, unlocks the door on your cell. You’re no longer forced to wallow in whatever it is that traps you. But he wants you to step up and rely on him to help you grew to new heights you could only have imagined. Having the cell door unlocked is just the beginning of a life-long process that allows you to draw on the power of the Holy Spirit to develop your spiritual muscles and become increasingly transformed into the image of Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18).

One of the Nicest Things My Wife Ever Said to Me

My wife Annette taught middle school science for 19 years. Like many organizations, the schools she worked in were mostly populated by wonderful people but also had a sprinkling of “how-does-this-person-keep-their-job” types. One individual in particular who seemed unusually difficult was one of her assistant principals. He consistently exhibited less common sense than most of the middle school students. Plus, he repeatedly failed to support the teachers, making their jobs much harder.

During one of our home Bible Studies, Annette was describing his latest foolish idea. Misbehaving students are often required to spend several days in the In-School Suspension (ISS) room as punishment. Annette explained that Mr. Brain Trust suggested the school buy a ping pong table for the ISS room so students would have something to do while in detention.

Think about that. An unmotivated student is bored in class, so he decides to act up in order to hone his ping pong skills. Great plan!

As Annette was explaining this idiotic proposal, she said, “Even though he has come up with dumb ideas in the past, this was the absolute stupidest thing he ever suggested. And it made me mad that he was pushing a plan that would make it harder for me to teach effectively. I don’t think I’ve ever been as mad at any adult in my entire life.” And then she added as she looked at me, “Well, . . . except you!”

The Bible Study group erupted into laughter, and I loved it! That’s one of the nicest things she ever said to me. It showed she is secure enough in our marriage that she has the freedom to express anger to me knowing I’m not going anywhere. And it’s reciprocal. I’ve been known to send some angry words in her direction. But early in our marriage, at Annette’s suggestion, we agreed we would never utter the word “divorce,” even in jest.

No relationship is stress-free, and, of course, negative comments should be few and far-between. Furthermore, the Apostle Paul encourages us to deal with conflict quickly and “not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Marriages or friendships built on mutual love, commitment, trust, and honesty can withstand minor “skirmishes.” Annette and I are both strong-willed and opinionated. And, believe it or not, I have sometimes been known to be stubborn and difficult to live with. But part of the reason we can express our occasional frustration with each other is that we have a baseline, unshakable commitment to never go away.

In the past, I’ve written about some of the difficult individuals in my family of origin. Having people like that in your life creates challenges when it comes to buying greeting cards for “personal” holidays like birthdays, Fathers’ Day or Mothers’ Day. Sending a sentiment like “you’re the glue that holds our family together” or “thank you for always caring” would be disingenuous. And some of the people I’m thinking about have no sense of humor, so the funny cards don’t work. That leaves me with the “enjoy your special day” type cards. Pretty bland.

I was pleased by the dilemma I faced this last Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t decide between two equally “warm” cards. Each expressed a sentiment I genuinely felt toward Annette. So, instead of choosing between the two, I got them both.

Annette recently came up with a great life-saying: 

“Be the kind of person it’s easy to buy a greeting card for.”

She embodies that! Part of what goes into being that type of person is a solid commitment to the important people in your life and a willingness to receive occasional negative feedback. If you live like this saying suggests, I suspect the people who are closest to you are secure enough in your relationship that they’re not afraid to be angry with you when you deserve it.

And for the record, I agreed that the ping pong table idea was idiotic.

Why It’s a Bad Idea to Second-Guess Your Decisions Demystifying Decision-Making – Part 2

Last time, I recommended a decision-making process that involves:

• Committing the decision to God through prayer

• Looking to Scripture to make sure the particular choice conforms to God’s ethical and moral standards

• Thoroughly investigating each alternative

• Seeking insights from wise, credible, and trusted friends and colleagues

• Determining if circumstances may be pointing in a certain direction

Then I made the somewhat controversial assertion that, if you have followed this process and are truly willing to follow God’s will as you understand it, then you can move forward confidently knowing you are doing what God wants even if subsequent circumstances prove catastrophic.

(You can scroll down to my previous post for more insights into these points.)

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus makes what’s called a “lesser to greater” argument. He reminds us that no father would give his son a snake if he asked for a fish or a scorpion if he asked for an egg.  “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:31).

Can you imagine this situation? A child earnestly asks their parent for wisdom about an important decision and commits to do whatever the parent recommends, but the parent either fails to answer or intentionally misleads the child. That would never happen. So, why would you think your loving heavenly Father would do that?

Last time, I promised to offer five reasons why second-guessing decisions made according to this approach – even if things subsequently go terribly wrong – is a bad idea. Here they are:

1. Second-guessing dishonors God – It shows you don’t really trust that he acted like the good parent, and he failed to lead you down the right road.

2. You are not at the end point – Even if you face negative circumstances today, the story may not be over. Things might look grim now, but they could improve or even do a complete 180 in the future.

3. Second-guessing overlooks the “God Factor” – Even though we want important decisions to result in smooth sailing down the road, God may be using the unfortunate developments to help you grow in new ways. Your character and your ability to trust God are more important to him than your circumstances are.

4. You are probably comparing your current situation against an idealized version of the alternatives – If your college freshman roommate turns out to be nightmare, you might wish you had accepted the offer from that other school. But how do you know that things would have been any better there? Maybe your roommate there would have been even worse, or maybe you would have had some terrible professors.

5. Second-guessing is useless – You can’t unscramble an egg or un-ring a bell. Lamenting over your decision will only distract you from picking up the pieces and moving forward.

A former church where I was an elder encountered rough waters that resulted from a complicated decision, they had made a few years previously. Due to unforeseen circumstances beyond anyone’s control, they were having to regroup and consider their next step. Because the original direction was determined by consensus rather than unanimity, one of the pastors began questioning whether we should have followed the “minority report” recommendation.

I respectfully but strongly challenged that thought. About twenty godly people had prayerfully followed a lengthy process and considered every possible angle. Had we known then what we knew now, we might have gone a different way. But of course we didn’t know. I can’t believe that nearly two dozen godly people somehow missed God’s will after they did their homework and repeatedly prayed for wisdom. That would be assuming that God had given us a scorpion instead of an egg.

The next time you face unanticipated headwinds flowing from an important decision made according to the principles outlined above, do this:

• Remind yourself that you did everything right

• Seek God’s direction for the next step

• Learn any appropriate lessons for future decisions

• Above all, keep trusting God and remain confident that he will continue to lead you down the right path

Does This Guy Really Sin Every 20 Seconds?

“I always start the day telling the Lord I want to serve him that day, but I end up sinning 1,000 times before lunch.”

So said one of the guys at a recent men’s group meeting. I quickly did some mental math. Let’s see, if he wakes up at 6:00 and has lunch at 12:00, that’s six hours. A thousand sins divided by six hours comes out to about three sins a minute. I felt like asking him, “In a typical day, how many online accounts do you hack, how many women do you assault, how many drug deals do you do? You must be a busy guy!”

Of course, he didn’t mean the “sin a thousand times” thing literally. He was just acknowledging the fact that he fails to live up to the lifestyle described in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus’ magnificent message which has a couple of purposes:

1.       Painting a portrait of what life in God’s kingdom will be like

2.       Revealing that absolutely no one can live up to God’s standards

Although I appreciated this gentleman’s humility, I’m not sure his sentiment is the most helpful way to look at yourself, partly because of its assumption about sin’s definition. Theologically, sin is a condition we are all born into and in which we remain until we recognize our guilt before God and turn to Jesus and accept the forgiveness he offers through his death in our place. At that point, we are spiritually reborn, and God views us as perfect as Jesus is. One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:1 – “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ.” In case you missed it:  there is no condemnation. None.

Of course, we will continue in our state of imperfection until we meet Jesus face to face. Except for Jesus, no one in history – not any of the apostles, not Mother Theresa, not Billy Graham – ever lived a perfect life. The men’s group gentleman was appropriately acknowledging that he’s flawed. But there is a difference between not being perfect, being tempted, and sinning. As Martin Luther famously said, “You cannot prevent the birds from flying in the air over your head, but you can certainly prevent them from building a nest in your hair.” Everyone is tempted, including Jesus himself. But being tempted is not the same as sinning. Neither is being imperfect.

This may not be a theologically “perfect” explanation, but from a practical standpoint you sin when you choose to sin. All Christians have the Holy Spirit living inside us. And he acts as a “governor,” showing you behavioral lines (defined by what the Bible teaches) that you shouldn’t cross. There comes a moment when you can choose to resist the Holy Spirit’s warning. That’s when you sin, either through a sin of commission (when you specifically act in a wrong way) or a sin of omission (where you fail to do something you should do). I don’t think you can sin without knowing it. You sin when you make a wrong choice.

But don’t forget this additional critical fact:  even when you do sin, God still sees Christ’s perfection in you instead of your sin. As John says in his first letter, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:19, NIV).

So, as much as I appreciated the men’s group gentlemen’s humility, I don’t think characterizing his life that way is the best place to “live.”  It all comes down to a “glass-half-empty” vs. “glass-half-full” perspective. Or to think of it another way, instead of dwelling on the fact that you’re a sinner saved by grace, you should acknowledge your spiritual growth and think of yourself as a saint who sometimes sins. Although Paul called himself the chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15) he also says, “I focus on this one thing:  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:13-14, NLT). He also declares, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old is gone; a new life has begun” (2 Corinthians 5:17, NLT). This perspective is a much better default than the “sin-1,000-a-day” attitude.

Part 2 - “What’s Your Definition of Legalism?"

Last time, I identified three aspects of legalism as any practice or activity that:

1. God has used in my life which I then expect other believers to follow

2. I feel compelled to do to enhance my relationship with God and which, if I don’t do, will jeopardize my standing with him

3. Fans my spiritual pride or causes me to look down upon those who are less “spiritual’

And I promised to amplify these thoughts this time with comments on how misunderstanding context and culture or misreading Scripture can make the legalism problem worse. This happens in at least four ways:

1. Elevating “non-essential” doctrines or opinions to the level of undeniable truth and judging other Christians who disagree.

Theologians often categorize Christian beliefs into three levels:

• Level 1 – Things over which there can be no compromise, such as the Trinity, Jesus’ deity, his virgin birth, the fact that his death and physical resurrection are the only provision for forgiveness of sin, and the recognition that Christians should be baptized and participate in communion.

• Level 2 – Doctrinal differences of opinion, such as the appropriate age for baptism (infancy or adulthood), the mechanics of baptism (sprinkling or full immersion), the frequency of communion (weekly, quarterly or “whenever”), or the “theology” of communion (whether Jesus is physically present in the bread and wine, whether he is spiritually present, or whether they are just symbolic elements). These are issues around which denominations appropriately form.

• Level 3 – Opinions, such as whether it’s OK for a Christian to buy a Lamborghini, what type of music is best for worship, or whether a church should go into debt over a building program. Although Scripture contains helpful principles to think these things through, there are no verses giving specific answers.

It’s perfectly fine to develop strong theological positions. However, they become problematic when you insist that every Christian agree with you on every point. When people “sanctify” their Level 3 views on clothing, hair styles, music preferences, etc., legalism thrives. In their terrific book How to Read the Bible for All It’s Worth, Gordon Fee and Doug Stewart observe:  “ . . . there is no such thing as a divinely ordained culture” (page 85).

2. Getting so caught up in defining every last possible sin that your distinctions become laughable:

• Some Christian groups prohibit going to the movies “because you are supporting the evil Hollywood movie industry.” However, they allow watching the same movies once they hit TV. Really?

• Some who forbid all alcohol say you shouldn’t even drink a Coke at a social event because “how does an observer know you don’t have rum in your Coke?” Water is the drink of choice. To that I would ask, “How does an observer know that it’s really water and not vodka?”

• Writer Phillip Yancey recalls during his school years walking the halls of his Bible college – which forbade facial hair on male students – seeing portraits of renowned professors and school leaders from bygone eras sporting full beards.

3. Applying some New Testament commands literally while ignoring others and judging Christians who don’t obey the ones you latch onto. For example, based on Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 14:34 (“Women should remain silent in the churches”) in some Christian circles, women are not allowed to hold pastoral roles that involve public speaking. However, since Paul also penned 1 Timothy 2:9, to be consistent, these same people should forbid women from wearing expensive clothing, gold or pearl adornments, or elaborate hairstyles. I have never seen “jewelry police” at the sanctuary door. Furthermore, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:13 that it’s improper for a woman to pray with her head uncovered. Very few Protestant churches require this.

Ironically, in the late 1960s, when “hippie culture” was beginning to flourish, many of the same Christians who ignored 1 Corinthians 11:13 about women covering their heads while praying invoked the very next verse (“If a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him”) as “proof” that God condemns long hair on men.

Other practices which Paul presents as commands, but which are often ignored include:

• Drinking a little wine for the stomach – Some ban all alcohol.

• Greeting each other with a holy kiss – Pretty much unheard-of in Western churches.

• Not prohibiting speaking in tongues – Some denominations forbid this practice. 

4. Basing some prohibitions on a misreading or misapplication of Scripture. I ran into this as a newbie when I heard an older Christian admonish a mutual friend to put down his beer. “You’re making me stumble,” he said, invoking Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 14. If you flip to that passage, you will see Paul is discussing a particular practice – eating food that had been previously sacrificed to a pagan idol – and concludes that, although there is nothing inherently wrong with that action, a newer and “weaker” Christian could become confused by seeing such behavior and stumble in his faith. Ironically, rather than identifying as the “weaker” Christian, the person urging our friend to not drink “because it will make me stumble” is implicitly claiming the high spiritual ground.

These four factors play into the discussion of legalism in my last post and make the problem worse.

I am not in any way implying that the Bible is not helpful for teaching us how to behave, but we must carefully understand the context of these instructions so we don’t come up with questionable or inconsistent applications. And I am certainly not saying that, when it comes to our actions as Christians, “anything goes.” We are to pursue holy lives that honor God, but we should not do so in ways that elevates certain applications of biblical principles to absolute truths when there may be other equally valid ways to follow those principles.  

What do you think?

3 Ways to Change – Which Is Best?

“Tom, you are Christian now. You need to stop drinking, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes.” That’s what a well-meaning person told my good friend Tom Jeannett a few weeks after Tom came to faith in Christ. Confused, Tom went to Jim, the guy who had initially shared the gospel with him, and said, “I thought you told me it was a free gift, and now this guy is telling me I need to do this and that. That’s pretty much what I came out of. If this is what it means to be a Christian, I’m not sure I’m interested.”

Wisely, Jim said, “Tom, you have a personal relationship with the Lord now. Why don’t you just talk to him about this and ask him to show you if it’s something he wants you to change.” Tom thought that was reasonable, so he agreed to that plan. Here’s how he describes the results:

After seven months, God brought me to the point of seeing that continuing to do all those things after experiencing the blessing of having a growing, personal relationship with Jesus was like settling for hamburger when the Lord was offering filet mignon. On May 2 of that year I quit drugs and cigarettes and getting drunk.

And he never looked back. I have known Tom for many years, and the transformation in his life is astounding. He is one of the most godly and pure-hearted people I know.

The original advice Tom got reflects the “admonition method” where someone (correctly) points to a biblical standard and urges the other person to change their behavior. There is certainly a place for that, and we should never ignore the Bible’s behavioral expectations.

A second approach is where a person decides on their own to change their habits through discipline and determination. I’m all for intentional self-improvement, and we should pursue this as well.

Please understand, I am not dismissing either of these approaches. You should always be open to heeding instructions from others or entering a discipline that improves your life. However, the most profound changes occur when God burns a new conviction into your heart.

One event from my early days as a Christian parallels Tom’s experience. I trusted Christ my second year of college. Before that point, my language frequently included words – many of which had four letters – that you never hear from the pulpit on Sunday mornings. I also referenced Jesus frequently, but not in prayer – if you know what I mean.

One day about a year into my Christian life, I was having a friendly argument with a guy from my dorm floor. I headed toward the elevator to go to dinner and he said something stupid. As I stepped into the empty elevator, I turned around to respond and yelled out, “What in the world are you talking about?!? Jesus Christ!!”

At that moment, the elevator doors slammed shut, the Holy Spirit pierced my heart, showing me that my use of Jesus’ name like that was totally inappropriate. And I never, ever, ever did that again. The thought of swearing by using Jesus’ in that way had become instantly repulsive to me.

So, there are three ways to pursue change:

• Respond to someone’s admonitions

• Embark on a self-improvement plan

• Ask God to reveal areas of sin and change your heart

Although all three are valid, the most profound and long-lasting is the last one. Even though you can’t manufacture or force this type of change – God has to be the one to do it – you can develop a heart posture that parallels David’s in Psalm 139:23-24.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

try me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

A Great Idea to Help You Worry Less

To be human is to worry. Even the most optimistic people occasionally obsess over bad things that could possibly happen. I believe it was pastor Tony Evans who identified the important difference between concern and worry when he observed that I control concern, but worry controls me. He’s absolutely right!

I’ve spent more than my allotted time worrying, but I’ve also learned a couple of approaches that have helped me tame the worry beast. I will share one this week and another one in my next blog.

Absolutely everything in life carries at least some level of risk. Believe it or not, there is actually a clinical medical code (ICD-10 V91.07x) for a doctor to report burns caused by someone’s water skis catching fire. Think about that for a minute.

It’s easy to catastrophize the future and rush emotionally toward worst-case outcomes. One way to counter this is to analyze your situation and try to assess the true likelihood of the bad outcome materializing. Let me show you how this can work.

A few years ago, I was talking with a couple considering a trip to London. At the time, the city had just experienced its third terroristic bombing within about six months, causing the couple to reconsider their trip.

Let’s look at the situation more closely. Assume a pessimistic scenario where London would suffer one bombing a month (twice the then-current rate). That means that any given day has a 3.3% likelihood of an incident. If this couple’s trip lasted six days, statistically, they would have about a 20% chance of being in London on the day a bomb went off. The odds against being involved are clearly in their favor.

At 607 square miles, London is pretty big. Of course, bombers would attack high-traffic areas, but even it if only 10% is high traffic, that’s still 60 square miles – a pretty big area. In order to be directly affected when the bomb went off, our couple would visit the exact spot – within a few dozen yards of the bomb – inside the 60 square mile area. It’s hard to estimate, but the chances of them being at precisely the wrong location on the wrong day are very low.

Then you have to consider exact timing. Bombings happen in an instant. Terrorists would probably select a high-volume time, say between 10:00 a.m. and 10:00 p.m. – a period consisting of 720 minutes. So, there is only a 1 in 720 chance (slightly more than 0.1%) that they would be there the exact minute the bomb went off.  

It’s impossible to do a precise mathematical calculation of their risk, but thinking through the odds this way can yield an “order of magnitude” risk assessment and put the possibility of danger in perspective. In order for them to be harmed, they would have to be in the exact wrong place on the exact wrong day at the exact wrong instant. Is that possible? Sure. It’s also possible my skis will catch fire next time I go water skiing.

Anyone who has ever seen a University of Michigan football game at Michigan Stadium (“The Big House”) is overwhelmed by sheer capacity –109,901 fans – of the largest collegiate stadium in the country. Years ago while attending a game there, I remember thinking through the odds of a terrible outcome I feared and concluding that the likelihood of it happening would be about the same as me being the winner of one of three $100 gift cards given at random to someone in the packed Michigan Stadium. Seeing the sea of people in front of me help put me at ease, realizing how astronomically low the probability was. And, by the way, the dreaded thing never did happen.

Of course, there is always a chance of bad outcomes, but sitting down and actually thinking about the probability typically “defangs” the worry monster.

Next time, I’ll share another approach that has also helped me enormously. Stay tuned.

Part of the 109,901-fan crowd

God Led Us to Buy a House in a High-Risk Fire Zone and on a Major Earthquake Faultline

(Please read through to the end. The bottom line on this story is probably different from we you are expecting.)

Unexpected Wrightwood snowstorm in November

During the height of this summer’s California wildfire season, God clearly led us to buy a vacation home in the high fire danger zone of Wrightwood, California. As a bonus, our new house is also on the San Andreas fault. We learned about this property on a Monday, put an offer in the next Friday, and had it accepted three days later.

Are we crazy?

No, not really. Despite the breakneck speed and the risky circumstances, we immediately recognized this as a remarkable answer to several years of prayer. Both of our children’s families live in the Los Angeles area, and, since we live outside Atlanta, we have been seeking ways to be more involved in their lives.

Over the years, we thoroughly explored housing options in Greater LA, but the combination of extremely high prices and choking congestion left us seriously discouraged. Additionally, none of the areas we considered would have any draw for our kids, and we feared setting them up for guilt trips, making them feel obligated to “visit the old folks.” Furthermore, we hated the idea of leaving Marietta, GA, our charming city with a great small-town feel.

The Wrightwood house checks all the boxes:

• It’s in an attractive mountain town close to both families and is literally four doors away from one of our son’s best ultramarathon running buddies.

• Real estate costs in Wrightwood are about half of what they are in LA.

• Our vacation house creates a “home base” for family gatherings and also serves as a weekend getaway place for our children.

• This solution allows us to visit three or four times a year and yet remain fully engaged with our church and friends in Marietta.

I would say this whole experience is one of maybe half a dozen times in my life where God’s will was indisputably clear. 

You may think I’m relating all this to point to God’s great goodness to us. Certainly, this is an aspect of the story I’m delighted to tell. However, there is a far more important lesson here:  once God makes his will known, you must be all in with no looking back, regardless of the direction things ultimately take.

Our decision to buy the house set in motion hundreds of decisions, some of which took us well beyond our comfort zone. But if God was truly leading us, what else could we do but move forward and trust God?

As an example, there was a last-minute communications hiccup that left us without fire insurance for the first 18 hours we owned the house. Remember, we are in a high fire zone, and this was while the California wildfires were making national news every single day. Since we were 100% convinced that God was leading us to buy this house, that means everything – both positive and negative – that happened as fallout from this decision is, by definition, part of God’s will. Even if the house had burned down before the insurance kicked in, we would have to embrace that terrible outcome as part of God’s plan. In fact, ironically, it would probably have reinforced our trust in God’s sovereignty if it had been destroyed. What are the chances that a house that stood unscathed for 53 years would randomly burn down within a random18-hour period in 2020? We would have to believe that God had ordained that incredible timing.

Please don’t miss the significance of this perspective. If we are committed to doing God’s will and carefully and prayerfully seek to discern what it is, we must embrace all that results – even the parts we don’t like – as part of God’s plan.

In his awesome book Trusting God, Jerry Bridges drives home three powerful points about God:

He controls absolutely everything.

He love me completely.

He knows what he’s doing.

If you truly believe this, I defy you to come to any other conclusion than that we must embrace every downstream consequence of the decisions God leads us to as being part of his will.

How's Your Spiritual Muscle Memory?

The ability to perform a task without consciously thinking about it is called “muscle memory,” a term that originated with physical activities. Examples include a tennis player’s ability to instinctively hit a difficult backhand shot and a cyclist’s sense of when to shift to a higher or lower gear. All automatically. All without consciously thinking.

This concept also applies to areas other than athletics. As a blues harmonica player, when I am learning an intricate tune, I have to break down each phrase and play it over and over and over again. After repeating a phrase dozens or even hundreds of times, I reach an inflection point where suddenly the notes “just come out.” And even after not playing a particular tune for years, when I return to it, I’m amazed to find it’s all still there. This is muscle memory.

Muscle memory requires two things: 

• Deliberate practice of the underlying skill involved

• Lots of repetition

Although I don’t ever recall anyone specifically applying the concept to our spiritual lives, I think we can. Faithful Christians often meet both requirements:

• We practice significant underlying activities like worship, prayer, Scripture reading, fellowship, service, sharing our faith, etc.

• We typically repeat these habits a lot

As you read Jesus’ behavioral standards and respond to the Holy Spirit’s promptings in your life, you begin to “just know” what to do and how to act in particular situations. Here are some examples:

• Repeatedly reading and taking to heart passages like the Sermon on the Mount eventually drives their truths deep into your heart and into your actions.

• If you’ve developed the habit of giving part of your income to further God’s work, when you get an unexpected windfall, one of your first impulses will probably be to give some of it away.

• After you’ve seen God’s faithfulness through numerous crises, you may instinctively turn to him when new tragedy strikes.

Bottom line:  following Jesus becomes second nature, and it reshapes and transforms you.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2:16, we have the mind of Christ. Although this doesn’t mean we’re infallible, it does mean our thoughts can become increasingly like his. This is especially true as we continuously behold as in a mirror (which is an example of muscle memory’s repetition requirement) the glory of the Lord and are transformed into his image through the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Three Ways to Go Wrong

Of course, we can mess anything up, and there are at least three ways you can fail to live in the joy of spiritual muscle memory:

1. Not practicing it all and failing in either the basic disciplines or the rigor of frequency

2. Going the opposite way and turning these beautiful spiritual disciplines into legalistic requirements

3. Becoming so “disciplined” that you crowd out the Holy Spirit, failing to draw on his power or respond to his promptings

The ideal blend involves:

• Regularly and joyfully participating in activities that build Christ-like character

• Not turning these disciplines into empty rituals

• Always being attuned to the Holy Spirit’s leading that might take you in unexpected directions

Routine and discipline are great, but you must always leave room for the Holy Spirit to redirect you as he sees fit.

So, back to my original question:  How’s your spiritual muscle memory?

Is Comparison Really the Thief of Contentment?

How many times have you heard that comparison will rob you of your joy? It’s easy to see how much others have and, consequently, become dissatisfied with your lot in life. In one sense, this observation is true. Our hyper-consumerized, FaceBook-fueled world bombards us with images of how successful, wealthy, good-looking, and popular everyone else seems to be. The problem, as Andy Stanley says, is that we compare our seemingly mundane lives to other people’s “highlight reels.” Everyone else’s life is amazing. Mine is not. Makes me feel like a schlub. 

Before the FaceBook world, we and many of our friends typically sent out Christmas newsletters, highlighting our families’ spectacular years. God blessed us with a couple of great kids, but there were a few years – especially the high school ones – that weren’t always awesome. Do you think we ever admitted that? Not on your life. All we spotlighted were our victories and successes. Eventually, I learned to read between the lines of others’ letters and figured out their lives maybe weren’t entirely unblemished either.

So, yes, we have been guilty of feeding into the “look how great our life is” trend. And we probably helped others’ contentment slip a bit by only presenting our “perfect lives.”

However, although it’s true that comparison can rob you of your contentment, comparison can have the opposite effect. Let me explain.

We tend to become jealous when we look up the “comparison scale.” But what happens when we look the other way, toward those less unfortunate than we are?

People on overseas mission trips are often shocked by being smacked in the face by abject poverty. In Manila, I saw entire families living in tiny cardboard and plywood shanties with raw sewage running past their “houses.” When our family went on a mission trip to Cuba when the kids were in high school, we worked with a church of about 200 members. I was stunned to realize that our family of four owned more vehicles – four cars, to be exact – than did all the members of that church combined.

I have friends from high school who have already suffered strokes, had hip replacements, endured cancer, and even died. I know people whose kids are hopelessly drug-addicted, mentally ill, or totally dysfunctional. And I even know people with kids who have committed suicide. What do I have to complain about?

When our daughter Stephanie was in high school, she took a prescription drug that resulted in second degree burns over two-thirds of her body. She spent 19 days in an ICU and nearly died three times. Nevertheless, as we saw other families in the ICU, we recognized how blessed we were. One young girl had lost a large part of her face to cancer. A one-year-old had rolled off a couch and was paralyzed for life. And some families never took their children home at all. When you look at people with circumstances far worse than yours, it’s easier to recognize how truly blessed you are.

My best friend Billy Burke describes himself as a “glass ¾ full person.” I love that! Of course, that’s technically illogical. The “glass ½ full, ½ empty” saying reveals whether your natural bent is toward the positive or the negative. What Billy is saying is that even when he sees a glass that’s only 50% full, his mental filter is such that he “reinterprets” the glass’s condition as even more positive than it really is. Nothing is robbing his joy!

So, even though comparison can steal your joy, having a mindset like Billy’s and looking “downward” on the comparison scale will actually remind you how truly blessed you are.

Which Body of Water Are You?

Dead Sea Salt Crystals

Last year, our church organized an awesome trip to Israel and Egypt. One of the many highlights was our visit to the Dead Sea, a distinctly quirky body of water. With an elevation of 1,412 feet below sea level, it boasts the lowest land elevation on earth. And since it’s 9.6 times saltier than the oceans, its water has an oddly oily feel and motivates the obligatory pix of people floating on their backs reading a newspaper. Dead Sea minerals are famous for their skin-rejuvenating properties, and we were delighted to discover golf-ball-sized clusters of salt crystals lining the shoreline. So, the Dead Sea is remarkable. But it has one problem.

It’s dead.

Because of the incredibly high salt concentration, nothing can survive in its waters, and no one lives along the shore.

By contrast, the Sea of Galilee is vibrant. During Jesus’ time, more than a dozen villages dotted its shores, largely because of its vital fishing industry. To this day, the Sea of Galilee is a living body of water that supports many industries, not the least of which is Christian tourism.

Both the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee are inland lakes, and both are fed by the Jordan River. So, why are these lakes so different from each other? Primarily because the Jordan River flows both into and out of the Sea of Galilee, while it flows only into the Dead Sea. In other words, the Sea of Galilee enjoys both an inflow and an outflow, while the Dead Sea has no outlet. This means that all the Jordan’s silt and minerals flow into the Dead Sea but have nowhere to go. So, the salt concentration skyrocketed over time as the water evaporated, resulting in a salinity that choked out all life.

The parallel to our Christian life is clear. If all we do is take in, and take in, and take in without a significant spiritual outlet, we become as dead as the lifeless Dead Sea. Many of you are currently serving in various ministry roles, but some of you may not be. One of the best ways to revitalize your spiritual walk is to begin serving others. Besides the obvious good it does for the recipients of your ministry, serving often forces you to stretch yourself to work outside your comfort zone.

I must say, some of my most exhilarating moments are when God uses me to have a profound impact on someone else. This is reminiscent of Jesus’ comment to his disciples after he ministers to the woman at the well in John 4. He had sent them to get some food, and they are surprised upon their return that he seems disinterested in eating. Referring to doing God’s will, he proclaims, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

So, if you feel spiritually stunted, consider how much you’re giving out compared to what you’re taking in.

But there’s another lesson to learn from this “bodies of water analogy.” Some people have only a trickle for an inlet. Perhaps the busyness of life, or disappointment with God, or any number of other factors have caused you to withdraw from or become indifferent to God. If so, you should seek sources of solid input:  worship services, Bible studies, men’s or women’s groups, solid Christian books, retreats, etc. And then as you are personally revived, find appropriate outlets that fit your gifting, passions and schedule.

So, which are you? The Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee, or a lake fed by only a trickle?

When Life Trashes Your Trophies

I absolutely love the Focus on the Family ministry. And one of my favorite stories told by its founder Dr. James Dobson concerns his student tennis career. As a freshman at Point Loma Nazarene University, he saw a large, impressive trophy in the gym engraved with the names of each year’s most valuable tennis player. “I’m going to get my name on that trophy,” he vowed. And, sure enough, the name James Dobson was added in both 1956 and 1958.

Years later, as one of the college’s outstanding graduates, Dr. Dobson was invited back to address the student body. On the way to his speaking engagement, he spied, of all things, the coveted outstanding tennis player trophy peeking out of a dumpster behind the school’s gym. Years after Dr. Dobson’s triumphant accomplishments, someone valued that trophy so little that they literally trashed it. He took that as a lesson in keeping perspective on how much emotional investment to make in what really can be legitimate pursuits.

I had a similar experience. The American College of Healthcare Executives (ACHE) is a 40,000-member, international personal membership association for senior healthcare leaders. Each state elects someone to the role of Regent to represent them to the international organization, and once a year, each Regent gives a special award to just one outstanding senior leader in their region. Every year, I secretly hoped my name would be called. It never was.

Ironically, about nine years ago I was elected Regent for Georgia and found myself in the position to actually select the winners. Besides recognizing that the selection process is fairly arbitrary, I realized that, since there is only one award, many worthy leaders never receive that honor.

Once I completed my term as Regent, ACHE sent a beautiful certificate commemorating my service. When I started my consulting business in 2015, I turned an extra bedroom at home into my office. My wife Annette asked me if I wanted to get the ACHE Regents certificate framed to hang in the office. I decided that, since she, I, and the pest control technician would be the only three people who would ever see it, it wasn’t worth the $150 necessary to frame it.

This realization put a lot in perspective for me. First of all, I had strongly desired getting the award but never did. It’s OK. That fact doesn’t diminish my value as a leader or a person. Then, I was in the position to actually give the award to others and saw how difficult it was to single out just one person. This further made my non-existent award OK. And, finally, in the end, I decided the symbol – i.e., the Regents certificate – of my “prestigious” role of recognizing an outstanding peer was not even worth framing.

Now, I’m 100% in favor of setting goals, working hard, and applauding others for their accomplishments. But if what used to be Dr. Dobson’s treasured trophy ends up in the trash, and if a certificate that recognizes one of my more important professional accomplishments isn’t even worth spending $150 on, how much sense of self-worth should I place in those goals? (I was going to take a picture of the certificate to use as a visual for this article, but, frankly, I don’t even remember where it is.)

Scripture teaches that there are only three things that are truly eternal:  God, his word, and people. So, while I’m legitimately pursuing life’s important and necessary “human” goals, I should always consider to what extent I’m balancing those against the three things of eternal significance.

In recent years, God has led me into an extremely rewarding individual mentoring ministry with about a dozen younger men. God calls each of us to different ministries, and I encourage you to ask yourself if you are investing in what really matters in life:  your relationships with God, your family, and those he has placed in your path. These are life’s true trophies that will never be trashed.